I have GREAT NEWS! I woke up today feeling like I actually attained a respectable amount of sleep! Finally, after what has felt like weeks, I managed to knock out with much less effort than usual. What made the difference? Well, for starters, I took the advice I gleaned from the articles I found on Insomnia the other day and tested them out. Like I stated before, without implementation, what use does knowledge possess? To ensure the best chance at falling asleep upon touching down on my bed, I made sure that I was sufficiently sleepy. That meant staying up until about a quarter to midnight before heading to the bedroom. I was tempted to give in earlier but I needed to feel that unmistakable sensation of eyes starting to get heavy. My body was ready to go but the ole mind needed more time. I hit the sack after finishing the latest Black Mirror installment, CREEPY, and experienced a relatively short duration of time spent tossing and turning. I did wake a few times throughout the night but my previous sleep studies reassured me that this is perfectly normal. Next thing you know, the morning was upon me. I didn’t even make it to my intended target wake time of 9 a.m. I found myself up at 8 and per the articles’ advice, no attempt was made to extract any more Zs from the morning. Once you’re up, stay up! Cherish is the word that comes to mind when I think about that feeling you experience after restful sleep. If this becomes more frequent, I will be one happy ass, damn camper. For those interested, I remind you that I spend as little time as necessary in my bedroom. Again, my activities are relegated to sleep, meditation, and Yoga, NOTHING more. I mean, one day in the not so distant future, Intimacy with a wonderful individual would be a nice addition to that list but for now, I’ll revel in my newfound success, hehehehe.
I’d like to talk a bit about my meditation experiences so far. I decided to change the times of this practice today. Instead of doing it before bedtime, more or less, I meditated first thing in the morning. Procrastination is a mother f’er so it behooves me to do it as early in the day as possible. Their’s a plus side to that as well. The morning provides a backdrop that isn’t as noisy. Make sure you go to the bathroom, if you must, before you sit down for your session. You don’t want to be within the grips of a burning desire to relieve the bowels when you’re trying to focus on your breathing. No bueno! Take care of your morning physical needs first. Drink some H2O as well as we all awaken in a state of dehydration and stretch a little bit before you meditate. This makes maintaining a seated position much more feasible. As for my progress, it’s going pretty good. I can sit, cross-legged, for my half hour sessions with much less discomfort, although my back gets naggy at times, and I’ve been able to remain consistent. Monkey mind, the experience of distracting, incessant, wandering thoughts, is still a pain in the ass, but I don’t expect this to cease until I’ve really settled into a long-term practice. The important thing is that when the thoughts begin to race, I let them in and then escort them right back out. Just get back to the act of breathing when the thoughts diminish. Rome wasn’t built in a day. Remember that when your inability to focus starts to drive you mad.
Today I also got to talk to a good buddy of mind at the gym. We chatted for a bit and I was instantly reminded of the importance of socialization in the fight to thwart depression. To see another smiling face, to hear another voice, to interact with others is medicinal in a wonderful way. You also get to see that you’re not alone in your battle. Mental afflictions reek havoc on millions of us. Sadly, they’re much too common and increasing in these times we’re living in. I read a recent sobering statistic that leads to the prediction that depression is on track to become the number one cause of disability in the world soon. I REPEAT! YOU ARE NOT ALONE! I hope this awareness creates a sense of solidarity and an urgency within the population to take a really deep and close look at what the hell is going on. Society seems to be absolutely failing us psychologically speaking.
After my gym time I had this continued urge to stay out of the house. You could say I was even bummed out over the prospect of returning. I want to start working again as soon as possible. Home can be a place of confinement when you’re depressed and even during the initial stages of your exit. I’m ready to get back to being out and about. I’m ready to limit the amount of time spent in my house. I’m ready for a full immersion back into the world. I’m ready to live life firing on all cylinders……….
Much to be thankful for today. I hope you all had similar experiences, epiphanies, and aha moments……… Be good, keep up the fight, stay engaged and rest well.
Peace, Love, & Strength